Welcome To The Family!
by Hisa-Me Kurai
Summary: Reno & Jayden have just announced their wedding plans, & the SHM are less than thrilled. In fact, they're prepared to do everything in their power to stop this wedding from ever happening! Sequel to 'A Fangirl's Dream Come True,,,YEAH RIGHT'
1. Welcome Back & Wedding Bells?

(A/N: Hey all! First chapter of my sequel story! Woot woot! Raise the roof! Hopefully this one will go over as well as my last one! And now, without firther adieu, READ ON!)

* * *

_Welcome to the family  
Hope you have a real good life  
With my little sister  
Yeah, she'll make a real good wife_

"What?" Sephiroth said mildly, setting down his vodka and tonic, thinking he had heard incorrectly, "I'm sorry, could you repeat that?"

"Ellie and I are getting' married, yo." Reno reiterated, a bit more slowly this time for Sephiroth's benefit, wrapping his hand around Jayden's.

"Oh honey that's **great!**" Mikayla squealed hugging her daughter from behind the sofa and ruffling her hair, "I'm so happy for you!"

"…you're marrying **_him?_**" Yazoo gaped, earning a dirty look from his adoptive sibling, "Um, don't take this the wrong way, but…why?"

"**Yazid!**" Mikayla cried, giving her adoptive child a swat on the rear, "Don't be that way! You should be **_happy_** for your sister!"

"It's not that we aren't happy for her, mom…we just wanna know what she **sees** in him." Loz said, staring up and away from his adoptive mother and sister.

"He's funny, sweet when he needs to be, gotta great laugh, kind to animals and small children, buys food for the homeless when he gets his paycheck-" Jayden ticked off crossly before giving her fiancé a sideways glance, "…and he aint all that hard on the eyes."

"**Finally **she gets to what's important, yo." Reno grinned, slinging an arm around her shoulder and planting a kiss on the corner of her mouth, "Aint she just a peach? You aint to bad yourself darlin'. Glad I got my claws into ya first."

"_Bah_, you're the only one that wanted me." Jayden said dismissively, leaning against Reno under the weight of his arm, "You had no competition, Red. I swear to g-"

"Listen to you two carrying on! You'd think you we're already married." Mikayla giggled, the comment making Jayden turn tomato red, Reno grin, and Loz, Sephiroth and Yazoo frown deeply, "So, have you decided on a date yet?"

"We're thinking late August." Reno replied, running his fingers through Jayden's hair and snorting, "No competition...didja **_not_** see how that skag in Tools was eyein' your goodies?"

"He wasn't looking at **me**, he was drooling over **_Carmen_** in **Paint**." Jayden snorted, giving Reno's wrist a pinch, "Believe **_me_**, no one wants to look like a pedophile by dating **me**, Red. I have too much of a baby face."

"He was lookin' at **_you_**." Reno smirked, ignoring the assault to his wrist and pulling Jayden closer, "You can deny all y'like, yo. But you should know, I really don't like the idea of that fugly creep rapin' you with his eyes."

"You mean like **you** do?" Jayden snorted, giving him a peck on the cheek, "At any rate, we wanted to let you know the news. I wish that Charlie and Mischa could have been here. Ipo and Kyle too."

"Well, their schedules **_are_** pretty hectic, hun." Mikayla replied, giving her daughter's hand a pat, "I'll be sure to pass the news along though. Don't you worry."

"Thanks Mrs…I mean **mom**." Reno laughed, tugging Jayden up from the sofa, "Well, I'm gonna take your daughter out to dinner, yo. Hope that's alright."

"Well she's **_your_** fiancé. Can't see why it would be a problem." Mikayla grinned, completely oblivious to the looks of protest on Yazoo, Loz and Sephiroth's faces, "Just watch it with those hands buddy. I want my daughter pure until you're married, ya hear?"

"**Seriously?**" Reno cried, a look of distress filling his face while a look of relief filled Jayden's, "So **_cruel!_** And here** I** was gonna have my way with her the second we walked out th' **_door_**, yo!"

"Don't be vulgar." Sephiroth said shrewdly, narrowing his eyes at the former Turk whose only response was to stick his tongue out at him, "All mother's asking is that you show some decency and allow our sister to keep her chastity until her wedding night. It is tradition."

"Don't get your **nads** in a knot, bro. I'll be good." Reno said teasingly, wrapping an arm around Jayden's waist, "You can trust me, yo."

"Somehow, that is none too reassuring." Yazoo muttered as the pair made their way towards the door, "You better watch yourself, Turk. If you take our sister's chastity before your wedding night, there will be hell to pay."

"You don't need to worry, Yazoo. I won't let'm." Jayden replied casually, snickering at the overly dramatic look of horror that filled Reno's face, "Not that I won't let him touch me. Cuz that would be downright cruel, but I won't let him get that far."

"See that you don't, sis." Loz said tugging Jayden back from the doorway and into a hug, "Be careful around him, okay? I really don't like him, Jayden. And I know Yazoo and Sephiroth don't either."

"Alright, **_geez!_** Don't go all psycho protective on me." Jayden teased, giving Loz a quick kiss on the cheek, "I may not be big, but I can handle myself. I'll be fine, Loz."

Loz shot a look at Reno, who made a face at him, and gave a worried look to Jayden, petting her hair and giving her one last squeeze before letting her go.

"We'll catch ya later." Reno called cheerfully over his shoulder, catching, Jayden's hand and tugging her out the door, "C'mon babe! I hear th' clarion call of Italian singin' my name, yo."

"Mm, garlic breath." Jayden snorted as the pair walked out the door, "I can't wait."

* * *

The Silver Haired Men watched the pair from the window, their adoptive mother squeezing her way between them to wave at her child. 

"Well, I'm so happy they finally figured themselves out." Mikayla said cheerfully, watching as Jayden and Reno pinched and poked at each other as they clamored into the car parked against the curb, "I better get Charlie and Kyle on the horn. They'll be absolutely ecstatic."

With that, she made her way through her adoptive children t make the respective phone calls while Sephiroth, Loz and Yazoo continued to stare at the rapidly disappearing taillights of Reno's used convertible.

"You both realize we can't let her do this, yes?" Sephiroth said tersely, eyes locked at the scenery outside the window, "There is no way I'm allowing **my** little sister to marry that fool."

"I agree whole heartedly." Yazoo nodded, taking a seat on a piano bench, "Anyone but **_that_** perverse buffoon. I really don't feel comfortable with that mockery of the human race touching her…or looking at her if we're being honest."

"So…we're all in agreement, then?" Loz asked, looking a little surprised that they had all come to the same decision, "We're going to stop this wedding before it happens. Any ideas as to what tactics we should use?"

"What are the usual things that break up marriage, little brother?" Sephiroth asked casually, crossing in front of the window with languid, unhurried strides of his long legs, "Cheating spouses, dishonesty when it comes to finances, spending too much time away from his would-be bride…the usual things."

"I see…but don't you think we might be in need of a little more..._assistance_, brother?" Yazoo asked, tossing his "sibling" a sideways glance from his seat on the piano bench, a tiny smirk forming on his lips.

Loz quirk an eyebrow and had to wonder what Yazoo was going on about. His curiosity only grew when he saw a similar smirk appear on Sephiroth's face.

"I agree, Yazoo. I do believe we're going to need some…**extra** assistance on this particular task." Sephiroth said silkily, a surge of cold energy charging the air around him, the lights overhead beginning to flicker with the sudden rush of power electrifying the atmosphere.

"Oh _**my!**_ I wonder if we're in for another wind storm." Mikayla remarked from the kitchen as a veil of darkness tore itself apart from Sephiroth and land on the floor in an ungainly heap, taking a few choked breaths as it tried to regain some composure.

"Welcome back, my sibling." Loz smiled, recognizing the lump on the floor for what it was instantly, "We missed you greatly, and your sacrifice to resurrect our eldest brother was greatly appreciated. But now we need your help again…Kadaj."

"Brief me on everything that I've missed Yazoo." Kadaj said, brushing some stray hairs out of his eyes and smirking up at his siblings, "If I'm to assist you in your plans, then I'll need to know the details of the situation and the events leading up to it."

"Of course, Kadaj." Yazoo replied with the barest of smiles, folding his hands together, "I suppose I should start when you tagged out, mm? Well then, after you so graciously donated your body to Sephiroth, we we're brought to this world we now call home."

* * *

"Reno? I'm a bit worried." Jayden said as a shiver of apprehension traveled up her spine for what seemed to be the twentieth time that night. 

"Eh? Why's that? Your mom was totally cool with our marriage plans, yo. You should be thrilled." Reno replied casually, scooping more spaghetti onto his plate.

"You saw the way my brothers were looking at you." Jayden said pointedly, poking at a sun-dried tomato on her plate, "Those Silver Haired Ninnies definitely wont let our wedding go off without a hitch."

"Oh yeah?" Reno said candidly, shaking parmesan over his spaghetti with great zeal, "And why dya think that? From where I stood, things went down pretty smoothly, yo. Don't stress the small stuff, babe."

"You honestly didn't notice?" Jayden asked exasperatedly as her fiancé began twirling noodles around his fork, "Reno, they really don't like you. In fact, I think it'd be safe to say they hate you. I know they don't approve of this marriage."

"So? What business is it of theirs who you marry?" Reno said easily, reaching across the table and giving her nose a little poke before wrapping the same hand around hers, "Listen up, Ellie – I'm a big boy. I can take whatever they throw at me, yo."

"I know…I know." Jayden replied with a tiny smile as Reno gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, "I just…I just want our wedding to go off without any problems. The sooner we're married, the better."

"Hey, th' stress'll be worth it in the long run, yo." Reno said, lifting her hand off the table and giving each of her knuckles a kiss, "A few months of hell for a lifetime of fun sounds worth it, ne? …well, at least it does to me."

"So optimistic, assuming the good times'll roll after we're married." Jayden smiled, cheeks burning slightly at the act of affection, "You always make everything sound so easy and somehow I'm always inclined to believe you these days."

"Hey, some things **_are_** that easy." Reno replied with a shrug, a lazy smirk appearing on his lips, "Falling for **you** though, **_that_** was hard, yo. Very, **very** hard. **_Woo_** boy. **Man** did you make lovin' you difficult at times."

"**_Hey!_** Don't act as though **you** were the specimen of male perfection." Jayden snorted, rolling her eyes and reaching for her fork, "I could write a **_book_** on all the things you did that got under my skin back then. I don't know how or **when** I fell for you."

"Same here." Reno laughed, giving her hand one last squeeze before focusing his attention back on his food, "But it was like one day I just had to hug you, kiss you...and had the huge urge to blind any other guy that looked at you."

"Very sweet…but could we skip the blinding please?" Jayden asked, inserting a bite of spaghetti into her mouth, "A lot of those people are co-workers and customers…and I'm required to look at them."

"Oh, **_fine_**. What fun are you?" Reno teased, lifting a slice of garlic bread off Jayden's plate and eating half of it before she could voice a complaint, "You wanna hit a movie after this?"

"Nah, let's just watch one at home." She replied, scooping a large forkful of noodles Of Reno's plate in retaliation, "I don't want to end up behind a talker and we can fall asleep on the sofa without having to worry about driving home afterwards."

"So practical." Reno smirked, leaning across the table and giving her a quick kiss on the forehead, "Fine, home it is, yo. 'sides…we can have more fun at home."

"No pre-marital sex." Jayden said flatly, poking Reno's nose, "That's something I agree whole heatedly with the Silver Haired Ninnies on…we can make out tho'."

"Sounds like a fair compromise." Reno snickered, hailing the waiter to ask for the check.

* * *

"So...stop me if I'm wrong, but...you live here now...and that woman in the next room, Mikayla…she's your-I mean our…new mother?" Kadaj asked in a dry voice, trying his best to absorb the information he had just been fed, "She's taken you in?" 

"That's correct." Sephiroth replied evenly, looking completely unfazed, "She took us in, even went so far as to adopt us all. She showed us a mother's love and has opened her home to us all. You are not to lay a hand on her, the girl named Jayden or the boys called Charlie and Kyle. They're our adoptive siblings."

Kadaj had started pacing at this point to ease his building tension. This whole scenario was completely insane. What happened to their ambitions of fulfilling Mother's great dream of Restoring the planet? What happened to the cold calculating Brothers he had left when he had merged with JENOVA?

Kadaj paused his insistent pacing, closed his eyes and drew in a long, shuddering breath, releasing it slowly. He opened his eyes once more and noticed something he hadn't before - photographs lining the wall. Kadaj crossed the room and lifted one off the hook, staring at the faces smiling back at him. Sephiroth, Loz, Yazoo, two unknown men, a woman in her late forties and a girl of about twenty sprawled across their laps with a laughing smile on her face.

"Is this her? Our sister?" Kadaj asked, turning around and pointing at the girl in the photo.

"Yes. That's Jayden." Loz nodded, a small smile appearing on his face, "She's a sweet girl. Ironic, but sweet over all. You two might actually get along Kadaj."

"I…I see." Kadaj said slowly, trying his best to take this all in as he massaged his temples, "So this place...this is our home now. And the girl…our sister…the one named Jayden…she is to be married?"

"Not if we have anything to say about it." Yazoo said coolly, folding his arms over his chest, "The one she wishes to marry is a womanizer and a fool. She could do far better than that poor excuse of human flesh, and we refuse to stand idly by and do nothing. We're going to stop the wedding before it happens."

* * *

(A/N: Mikayla and Kadaj have their first meeting. Reno and Jayden scope out sites for the ceremony. Sephiroth launches his first attack! R&R!) 


	2. Location, Location, Location

(A/N: Heeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm so glad you're liking my sequel! So much love! I'm drowning in it! WOOTNESS! By the way, wootness IS my copyrighted word and I will sue you if you use it without quoting me scowls And now, ON WITH THE FIC!)

* * *

_Hope you have lots of babies  
Hope you get a real good job  
Hope you don't mind company  
Cause we'll be here a lot_

"Boys? Do you have a gue-oh…**my**." Mikayla murmured eyebrows raising slightly upon entering the family room and spotting Kadaj. She crossed the room in three strides of her long legs and had his face in her hands, gazing at him in a mixture of wonder and appraisal, "Boys…is this a relative of yours? He looks just **_like_** you."

"Yes, mother. He's our youngest brother, Kismet." Sephiroth replied evenly as a slow smile appeared on his adoptive mother's lips, "We were separated years ago, and he finally managed to track us down."

"Well, big families are best, so what's one more child? Welcome to the family, hunny." Mikayla replied cheerfully, pulling a rather startled Kadaj into a tight hug, "We're happy to have you!"

"Uh…um…" Kadaj babbled out, feeling an uncomfortable heat rise in his face at this strange woman embracing him for no apparent reason, "That is to say…um…**I** uh…er…uh…um-"

It was completely understandable reaction. Kadaj had had no physical contact with any living being that wasn't sadistic in nature. Even amongst his 'brothers', was limited contact, if they had any at all. So this act of compassion was almost beyond his capacity to understand.

"Well aren't you a **_doll?_**" Mikayla laughed, noticing his bewildered expression and giving Kadaj a light kiss on the forehead, "Don't you worry, sweetie. I don't bite. Boys? Why don't you three show him the ropes while I call the courthouse and toss some chicken into the oven?"

"Alright mom. We'll give him the grand tour." Loz interjected smoothly, clapping his hands around Kadaj's shoulders as Mikayla made her way back into the kitchen

"Remind me to hit all of you later." Kadaj muttered under his breath, drawing snickers from Sephiroth, Yazoo and Loz, "You're such self righteous bastards."

"Oh **do** shut up little brother." Loz smiled, pulling the youngest remnant into a headlock and giving him a noogie before letting him go, looking like a disgruntled cat.

"I _**hate**_ you. You know that, right?" Kadaj growled, running his finger back through his hair in a quick motion to smooth it back into place.

"We love you too, little brother." Yazoo replied with a smirk, "But don't forget, this isn't about you. This about stopping our sister's wedding."

"Glad to see **your** train of thought hasn't derailed with all this insanity." Kadaj snorted, trying to play it off like he hadn't allowed himself to become completely thrown by something so simple as a hug, "So…how did that woman come to…you know…"

"You want to know how she came to adopt us." Sephiroth said, a slow smirk appearing on his face, "If you must know, it's one of the **main** reasons we're so adamant on stopping this wedding. Jayden took us in after some…unpleasantness, and after she heard we had no family to speak of, Mikayla took it upon herself to adopt us."

"I see." Kadaj said, massaging the bridge of his nose, "And you don't have to continue to press the issue of your…sister. I've already agreed to help. The real concern is what tactic to use to force those two apart. Personally, I think we should just kill him and stop wasting our precious time."

"Not an option, I'm afraid. Unlike Gaia, a dead body won't be so easily overlooked." Loz said lazily, picking his teeth with his pinky nail, "We have to separate them in a way that won't look so suspicious."

"So easy to shoot down an suggestion yet so difficult to come up with one yourselves." Kadaj muttered sullenly, folding his arms over his front.

* * *

"Okay Reno, You've had enough. I'm cutting you off now." Jayden said calmly, extracting the glass of bourbon from her fiancé's grasp. 

"Whadd're you **_talkin'_** 'bout, yo?" Reno slurred out tersely, shooting his future bride a look of annoyance, "I can still see straight. I can handle two or five more-"

"Your confidence, while inspiring, is induced in large part by the alcohol, Red." Jayden said wanly, striding across the kitchen to pour the contents of the glass down the drain, "And I'd prefer you stop now while you're **still** sober enough to…whaddya think you're doing?"

"I thought that'd be obvious since **_you're_** the straight edge one t'night." Reno said, resting his chin on her shoulder and sliding his arms around her waist, "I'm molestin' my girl…and I plan to do a **_lot_** more than that, yo."

"R-Reno? Hate ta burst your bubble, but **no** premarital **_sex!_**" Jayden yelped gripping Reno's wrists as his fingers began working at the button of her jeans, his full weight pushing against her, forcing her forward.

"Nice t' know that's where your minds at, yo." Reno smirked, moving easily despite the obstructions around his wrists. When Jayden let out a squeak of protest and started digging her nails into his skin, Reno let out a snicker, "I won't go that far...**this** time. Just heavy pettin'…**_real_** heavy…hehehe."

"Ugh, you're sucha **perv!**" Jayden groaned as she felt the unmistakable sensation of the button of her jeans coming undone and felt Reno trying to get his hands down the front of her pants, "Knock it **off!** I don't wanna be angry with you, but if you keep **_pushin'_** me-!"

"Alright, alright." Reno grumbled, stopping his activity and wrapping his arms around her waist, giving her a squeeze, "I swear, you're no fun at all."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm a total prude." Jayden replied casually, loosening her grip on his wrists and leaning into him slightly, "Come on, Reno. Go to bed. We have a long day tomorrow."

"But what'm I sposda do about **this**, yo?" Reno asked whinily, rubbing his erection against her and moving his hands downward on his fiancé's jeans, thinking she'd lowered her guard somewhat.

"Go in the bathroom with a Hustler." Jayden countered smoothly, lifting both arms over her head and performing a rather impressive tuck and roll across the kitchen floor.

"Ah-**_awww!_**" Reno cried as she rose quickly off the floor and pranced off towards her room, "**Seriously?** …weak man. **_Really_** weak."

"Good **night**, Red." Jayden called over her shoulder, darting into her room and closing the door with a snap, shutting out Reno's infuriated ranting.

She really didn't mind social drinking, she really didn't. Reno just liked to take it a step beyond that. To level of insobriety to where it would only take about three more shots of tequila to make him physically unattractive to her.

On some level, Jayden had an inkling Reno knew this as the occasions where he got loose with his liquor were becoming a rarer occurrence…but they still happened. And when they did, **_hoo_** boy, you better pad the windows, lock the doors and hide the dog.

She sighed and snuggled under the covers, saying a silent prayer that this wouldn't be one of those nights where she would have to threaten Reno with Sephiroth impaling him on a stick and roasting over a cracklin' fire.

It was on nights like these that Jayden slept very lightly and the slightest noise had her bolting upright and reaching for the clock on her nightstand. And the apartment was old and was almost constantly settling so she was roused almost every two minutes.

* * *

"Look, I **said** I was sorry, yo." Reno said, massaging his temple with his right hand, working over the area where his fiancé had wailed him in the head with her digital clock, "So I got hammered and tried to do th' nasty with you. Nothing happened. Nothing **_ever_** happens." 

"Only because when you **tried** to have your way I used the Sephy-threat." Jayden retorted, hand wrapped around Reno's left as the pair made their way through the crowds, "This **_really_** has to stop, Red. I hate the idea of having to sic my older brother on my fiancé, but I **will** if it becomes necessary."

"Hey, don't I _**always**_ stop when you ask me to, drunk or not?" Reno pressed, pulling Jayden back and forcing her to stop in the middle of the high-traffic sidewalk, "Answer me frankly, yo."

"…yes." She sighed, flushing slightly, giving his hand a tug as an indication to start moving again, "I know subconsciously you'll stop if I ask you to. I honestly do, it's just that you-"

"It's alright, babe." Reno said, with a smile, tugging her towards him and pulling her into a hug, "It's just cuz I make you nervous, right? Cuz you know what'm capable of?"

Jayden felt the heat in her face increase and, burying her face in Reno's jacket, nodded, "'m sorry. I know you'd never **intentionally** hurt me, but…you're so much stronger than me."

"Hey, didn't I tell you before I'd be gentle with ya?" Reno snorted, kissing the top of her head, "Ellie, if I'd wasn't being careful right now, I could've snapped your **_spine_** in half."

Jayden peeked up at Reno, who took the opportunity when it presented itself to swoop down and plant one on her mouth.

"You've nothin' to worry about. But…" He smirked, noting how red and flustered she looked after he pulled away, "…you aren't allowed to show that face to anyone but me, y' got it? It's dangerous, yo."

"…you're **weird**." Jayden mumbled, still a bit dazed. She became aware of the stares they were receiving from passerbyes, she wriggled to free herself from Reno's clutches, "C'mon, we have to scope out possible wedding sites."

Instead of letting her go like she wanted, he only pulled her closer.

"C'm_**onnn**_, Ellie." He taunted in a singsong voice, "**Promise** me."

"**_Okay_**, **okay!**" Jayden squealed, Reno automatically letting her go and sending her stumbling forwards, "**_Yeesh_**…dya mind if I ask why?"

"Cuz if you showed that cute expression to anyone else they might be tempted to steal you from me, yo." Reno replied easily, walking next to her and taking her hand again, "And then I might be tempted to get violent."

"…you're hopeless." Jayden said exasperatedly, walking in stride with him. Muttering under her breath, she murmured, "_How on earth did I fall for you again?_"

"Must be my looks." Reno replied, making his fiancé yelp in surprise.

"**Damn** your muscle bound ears." She mumbled.

* * *

"Alright, so you want me to do _**what**_ now?" the woman asked throatily, leaning casually against the brick wall of an alleyway, staring up with a look of disinterest at the quartet of silver haired men. 

"We want you to call this number leave a message on it." Sephiroth said simply, forcing a paper into the woman's hand, "Just read this script in the most seductive way possible and you'll get your money."

"You'll **seriously** pay me two hundred bucks just for saying **_this_** crap?" the hooker mutter, eyeing the paper doubtfully and taking another drag of her cigarette, "Sounds too good to be **true** if ya ask me."

"Well, if you need proof, we can give you half your money now, half when you've done what we asked." Yazoo said, reaching into his back pocket and extracting a large wad of bills, counting out twenty fives and handing them over to the prostitute.

"…I know it's not my business to know, but you guys have got me **_really_** curious." The hooker said, shoving the bills down the front of her bra, "What's all this about? I've only skimmed this, but from the look of it, you're trying to break someone up."

"You're **smarter** than you look." Loz said with an appreciative nod, "That's correct. We're trying to stop our sister from marrying a loose, drunken **_idiot_**. **Holy** only knows why she loves that _**loser**_, but she does."

"I see." The prostitute murmured, finishing her cigarette and putting it out on the end of her tongue, "So you're doing this cause you feel its in her best interests huh?"

"We didn't **pay** you to ask questions." Kadaj ground out impatiently, tapping his foot and shifting his weight uncomfortably, "Just make the call. I'd like to get this foolishness over with as quickly as possible."

"Eh, you're the boss." The hooker shrugged, rifling through her battered purse in search of her cell phone and finally retrieving it, "But I have to tell ya…I **_really_** don't think this'll work."

"Just do it." Sephiroth said coolly, eyes flashing intimidatingly, making the lady of the evening shiver as a thrill of fear shot up her spine.

With that she dialed the number scribbled at the top of the paper and waited for the machine to pick up.

_-Hey! You know what to do!-_

_-Beeeeeep-_

* * *

"I can't be**lieve** we couldn't **_find_** anythin', yo." Reno groaned as he stumbled into the apartment and flopped on the sofa. 

"Well if **someone** wouldn't be so **_picky_**..." Jayden snorted, rolling her eyes, "**Honestly**, you're worse than my **_mom_**."

"I resent that." Reno retorted, jabbing the air with his finger, "I just want this to be special for us. It's a one-time deal with me. I swore that if I got married, I'd do it once."

"**Ha_ha_ha!**" Jayden laughed as she pulled two sodas from the fridge, "You…are _**soooo**_ weird." She crossed the room quietly and brought the ice-cold can down on Reno's neck making him screech and sit bolt upright.

"Not cool, Ellie. **Definitely** not cool, yo." Reno scowled as Jayden hopped onto the sofa now that there was space, howling with laughter.

"What are you **_talking_** about? Of **course** it's cool!" she hooted, opening her can and tossing her fiancé's into his lap.

"Remind me why we're getting married again?" Reno muttered, lifting the can off his lap and popping the tab.

"_Hmm_…because it was convenient for both of us and I was tired of you trying to jump my bones whenever my back was turned?" Jayden replied, flipping on the T.V.

"Oh **_yeah_**, now I remember, yo." Reno smirked, coming off his annoyance and settling down comfortably on the couch, and gluing his eyes on the screen, draping his arm over Jayden's shoulder.

Jayden switched herself around so that she rested against Reno's chest, eyes trained on the T.V…but something just off to the side kept tugging at her vision. Something small and blinking.

_"Oh! We have a message."_ Jayden thought to herself, eyes moving from the television to the phone, _"But…it's probably the construction site calling Reno in."_ She glanced at he fiancé, who was fighting to stay awake despite how obvious it was that he wanted to stay awake and watch the show.

_"No way in hell am I letting them call him in. He works too hard as it is. This is his first day off in three months."_ she scowled, rising off the couch. In four strides she had reached the phone and had pressed the ERASE ALL MESSAGES button.

"Somethin' wrong, babe?" Reno asked drowsily, well on his way to falling asleep as Jayden returned to the couch.

"Nothing at all. Just killing a spider." She said with a smile, curling up next to him.

* * *

(A/N: With Sephiroth's attempt a failure, Yazoo steps up to bat. Meanwhile, Jayden and Reno continue their search for plausible wedding locals. And what's this? Kyle and HIS fiancé are flying in to help? R&R!) 


	3. I'm OUT,,,Wait WHAT?

(A/N: I'm back! Woo!!! Finally got over my writer's block. Hopefully this one will live up to your expectations! And NOW!!!

THE NEXT INSTALLMENT!!)

* * *

_Brother, here's some brotherly advice_

_If you know what's good for you_

_You'll treat her right_

"Reno, c'mon. You can drool over the cakes later." Jayden said exasperatedly, giving Reno's hand a tug, "I don't know about you, but I'd like to find where we're gonna have this wedding if you don't mind."

"How can we think about that on an empty stomach, yo?" Reno protested, pulling his fiancé back to his side with little effort, "Besides, push comes to shove we can always just fly out to Ve-!"

"Don't finish that sentence Red." Jayden barked, trying to pull the former Turk away from the window again, "Besides weren't **you** the one who vetoed the ten minute Vegas wedding?"

"_**Damn**_, you were actually listenin', yo?" Reno asked teasingly, begrudgingly giving into Jayden's insistent tugging and moving away from the store window, "And here I thought I was having a pleasant conversation with myself."

"Well you stand corrected, I suppose." Jayden smirked, feeling slightly victorious as the bakery window was left behind them, "C'mon, just fifteen more minutes and we'll stop for lunch okay?"

"I get to pick where." Reno said instantly, wrapping his arms around his fiancé's waist and pressing his full weight against her back so she took a few tottering steps forwards and was forced into a stooped position.

"Okay, **okay!** Fair enough, Red!" Jayden laughed, trying to wriggle her way free, "Ya know, I'm **_painfully_** aware of how short I am - no need to rub it in!"

"Of **course** there is, Ellie. I need to take every advantage I have." Reno said languorously, resting his chin on her shoulder, "Height just happens to be one of them. But oooookay – fifteen minutes. I guess I can wait that long."

He pushed himself off her and grabbed Jayden's hand again.

"I know it's a drag, but the sooner we figure out where we're having this thing, the better, y'know." She said easily, looping her arm with his as they started walking again, "We don't want to be in a panic at the last minute cuz we don't know where we're doing this thing."

"I know…I knuh-_whoa_…" Reno gaped, eyes locked at an area across the street. It was over the heads of several taller people, making it invisible to Jayden, something she voiced to Reno.

"Whoa **_what_**, Red? I can't see **diddly** over all these tree people." Jayden mumbled sulkily, again made aware of how height challenged she was. She let out a yelp as Reno swung her up and onto his shoulder, giving her the perfect view of a park across the street.

The grass was lush and green and the flowers were just coming into bloom, trailing on vines and exploding on bushes and trees. Towards the center, just barely in sight for her, but probably in full view for Reno's superior vision, was a large fountain.

Reno reached up and gave Jayden's hand a squeeze, "So, is **_this_** place good enough?"

"**More** than good enough." Jayden replied, trying her best to hide the large grin on her face as she squeezed back.

"Great…so can we eat now, yo?" Reno asked, straining to look up at her.

"Can you let me **_down_** first?" Jaden asked pointedly, shifting her weight so she could slide off.

"No." Reno grinned, wrapping an arm over her thighs and forcing her back in place, "I think I like ya like this."

He gave her butt a rub making her squeak loudly and bring her fist down on the top of his head.

"If you'd be so kind as to let me down…now?" she growled, face very red as Reno allowed her to slide off, snickering as he did so.

"Relax, babe. You're not **completely** off limits now, are you?" he asked, eeling an arm around her waist and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"…no." Jayden smiled, butting his chest with her head, "I guess not. Sorry for overreacting. Old habits die hard I suppose. C'mon. Where dya wanna eat?"

"The Cheesecake Factory." Reno replied instantly, leading the way back to the used car they both shared, "And if I get a make out session after lunch consider yourself forgiven, yo."

"**_Hahaha!!_** Deal." Jayden laughed, breaking into a run, "**C'mon!** Scoot yer boot! Don't _**tell**_ me your gonna be outrun by a **girl!**"

"_**Helllllllll **_no!" he whooped, scooping Jayden up under the knees and throwing her over his shoulder and running the rest of the way to the car, oblivious to the pair annoyed, geostigma eyes watching them.

* * *

_"What do you mean they're still together?"_ Kadaj snapped into the phone. 

"I'm watching them right now brother, and it certainly doesn't **appear** as though they're on anything remotely close to bad terms." Yazoo remarked coolly into his cell, taking a large bite of his sub sandwich, "I'm on my lunch break and they passed by my bakery."

_"How could this possibly be?! That plan was fool proof!!!"_ Kadaj bellowed over the phone, causing Yazoo to hold the cell at arms length away from his head, turning over the idea whether or not to simply hang up now and be done with it or listen to his younger sibling's incensed rant.

Yazoo sighed and glanced up at the clock tower across the street. His lunch hour was quickly slipping away from him. As much as he **_HATED_** the idea of his adopted sister being joined in holy matrimony with the mother of all idiots, he despised missing even a microsecond of his hour-long lunch break just as much…maybe even more.

He sighed loudly as Kadaj's loud ranting, now garbled chittering at the distance he held the phone from himself, met his ear.

"**Bro!** Hey, I forgot your shop was around here!"

Yazoo snapped his head up and saw Jayden, riding on piggyback astride Reno's back, approaching him with the happiest of smiles.

"Perfect timing Yazoo!" Reno grinned as he came to a stop about five feet away from the middle Remnant, "We wanted to discuss something with you over lun…uh, Yaz? Whose that on the horn, yo? Angry customer or somethin'?"

Yazoo realized with a thrill of panic that he was still had Kadaj on the line and that the youngest Remnant was still on his incensed tangent.

"No, wrong number. I accidentally dialed up someone in Little Italy." Yazoo said smoothly, shutting the cell with a snap, instantly ending the hamster-like chittering that was Kadaj's endless tirade on the other end of the line.

"Now, what is it that you wanted to discuss?" Yazoo asked, blanking out his face so he wouldn't look **_HALF_** as flustered as he felt, eyeing Reno coldly for effect.

"Well, why don't we get something to eat and catch up a bit first. Then we can sort out all the formalities." Jayden said easily, sliding off Reno's back, taking his hand and Yazoo's and leading them both towards the Cheesecake Factory.

* * *

"Alright. Start talking. Why did you cut me off before?" Kadaj snapped tersely surprising Yazoo as he stormed into the bakery. 

"Because J.D. was standing less than five feet away from me and the likelihood of her picking up on your Turk Tangent was pretty high because of your volume brother dear." Yazoo said coolly, striding behind the counter, switching his hair into a ponytail and tying on his apron.

"…oh." Kadaj muttered, coloring slightly as Yazoo reached for a whisk on the wall, "So…what did you all talk about?"

"…about how much it would mean to her if I made her wedding cake." Yazoo mumbled, intentionally averting his gaze from Kadaj, whose mouth was currently opening and closing like a fish out of water, struggling to breathe.

"And...and your answer was?" Kadaj managed, grabbing the counter before him for balance.

"...Yes." Yazoo said sheepishly, "Meaning, I'm out. It'd be a conflict of interest if I continued helping our brother's conspire against them if I'm working **FOR** them."

"I…I see. **Well _FINE_ then!**" Kadaj roared childishly, storming out of the bakery, "**_We don't need your help_ ANYWAY!!!**"

_"How is it that I knew he'd react that way?"_ Yazoo sighed, walking to the back to begin prepping for an order of sticky buns he was to make for an organization of some kind's charity function.

* * *

"He's **out?!** You _**serious?**_" Loz cried, unable to believe what he was hearing. 

Kadaj had called him and Sephiroth and said it was a matter of urgency, making arrangements to meet them as soon as possible in a bar downtown.

"Conflict of interest since J.D.'s a client now." Kadaj ground out irritably, not touching his scotch on the rocks in favor of massaging his temples to ease the tension, "_HOLY_, what are we gonna do now?"

"We'll come up with something." Sephiroth said easily, not in the least bit concerned as he sipped his Long Island Iced Tea, "In fact, I already have something in mind."

"Oh _**so?**_ Do tell." Loz remarked, popping the top off another Heineken and lifting the bottle to his lips.

"We were on the right track before with infedelity, all we need to do is produce indesputable proof." Sephiroth replied, setting his drink on the table, "We've gone after that miserable pissant and failed...so I propose we make it appear as though **Jayden** is the one whose been unfaithful."

"J.D.? Cheat? **_HA!_** Not bloody likely bro." Loz snorted after draining his his beer to the halfway mark, "She's always been the one man type of girl and completely devoted. The odds of her cheating are slim and none!"

"But if we make it **APPEAR** as though she has been..." Sephiroth said lazily, beginning to feel the warming effects of the alchohol.

"And how do you propose we do **_that_**, pray tell?" Kadaj asked, his voice dripping with annoyance as he finally took hold of his drink and took a deep swig.

"I know of someone in my firm who used to be a theater major." Sephiroth replied, toying with the straw in his drink, "All we need is to catch the two of them in a compromising position on tape and have him do a voice over."

"...Thats so insane...it just might work." Loz said slowly, a grin spreading across his face.

"I propose a toast...to well laid plans." Sephiroth smirked lifting his glass.

"To well laid plans." Kadaj and Loz chimed in unison, raising their own drinks to clink them together with their elder brother's.

* * *

_-BZZZZZZ-_

"**AIPE!!**" Jayden yelped, dropping her watering wand and diving her hand into her back pocket, retrieving her cell phone (set to vibrate obviously) and thanking everything she knew of she was in the back of the flower corral where she wouldn't be seen.

_"Who the hell would call me during work hours?"_ Jayden thought with annoyance, lifting the phone to her ear, "Y'lo?"

_"Hey hey shorty. How've ya been?"_

"_**KYLE!!**_ Oh em gee, how've you been?" Jayden cried joyfully, deliberately using the chatspeak to annoy him.

_"I've been great. Me and Ipo're like about a week from tying the knot and whats this I hear about YOU gettin' hitched?"_

"Yeah, me and Keith." Jayden smirked into the phone, wondering if she would ever come up with an excuse so she could use Reno's real name.

_"Izzat a fact. Wanna talk about it over dinner?"_

"How are you gonna do that exactly?" Jayden asked inquisitively, not noticing the figures creeping up behind her until they both had wrapped their arms around her.

"Like **this**, keiki!" Ipo laughed, as Jayden dropped her phone and shrieked for joy, twisting herself around in her brother and his fiance's arms to hug them.

"What the **_hell?!!_** When did you two get here?" she cried, looking up at them happily, "Does mom know yet?"

"Naw, we flew out last minute. I take it by the shriek we suprised you." Kyle smirked, dancing out of the way as Jayden took a swing at his arm, "So, we're abducting you and taking you to dinner at The Pyramid Ale House, got it?"

"Yes sir." Jayden snickered, stooping down to retrieve her phone, "I'll call R-Keith and let him know to meet us there, kay?"

"Sounds good." Ipo smiled, "You both can fill us in on what you have prepped for your wedding and we'll help with what we can."

"You guys are **so** great! Thank you." Jayden smiled, dialing up Reno's cell, unaware that elsewhere, her adoptive siblings were making a call of their own.

* * *

(A/N: DUN...DUN...DUNDUNDUNDUNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! Sephiroth hires his actor friend and manages to sucessful catch him and Jayden in the compromising position he wanted. But after the DVD is processed, will he be overwrought with guilt? Will he feel nothing and deliver it to Reno? And what about the wedding party? Will some friends from the past recieve invites? And if so, how will they even GET there? R&R!!) 


End file.
